Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Our Adoption Profile…And a Favor

I'm not even sure why it's hard for me to write this post. I think it's something to do with the fact that I don't like to ask for help, nor do I like feeling vulnerable; more accurately, I don't like feeling vulnerable in front of people. Adopting a child does that to you, though. You find out that you can't have children at all, and then you wait and wait and hope that a birthmother chooses you to raise her child. Once you get chosen, you try to prepare, and you get excited, but not too much, because you never know if you will actually take that baby home. It's scary and stressful and wonderful all at the same time.

When Stella was about two, we decided to adopt again.  And then we waited. We waited a year before we were selected by a birthmother who was pregnant with a baby girl. We were cautiously optimistic, definitely more unsure of the situation this time around. But, we still planned to add a new baby girl to our family. As you know, we didn't get that baby girl. The birthmother changed her mind when the baby was born. So, I packed up the little hospital outfit we had purchased, and we started over.

So, here we are two years later, waiting again. Our very first caseworker told us to use social media to let everyone know we are hoping to adopt. We didn't do that this time, though…because, well, no one wants to feel vulnerable. In front of people. And even though your loved ones have your best interest at heart, it's sometimes hard to give the same answer over and over to their questions: No. There's no news to report. No baby. But, I've come to realize that even if there's the slightest chance that there's someone out there who knows someone who knows someone, feeling a little bit vulnerable is totally worth it. 

We couldn't be more grateful for the life we have been given and the blessings that we have received. We love our little Stella so much, and even if things don't turn out the way we want, we will always focus on what we have rather that on what we want.  If you could please share our adoption profile on your social media and get the word out, we will be forever grateful.  Thank you for your help. Here is our profile




All image from Brittni Schroeder Photography

20 comments:

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    1. Maybe try it again? It's working on my end, and I've had a couple other people try it. Not sure what happened! Thanks!

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  2. Thank you for giving me this wonderful opportunity. You guys are amazing. miss you. con amor, kathe

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  3. You guys are such a beautiful family! I have you in my prayers.

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  4. Dear Jamie -

    Writing this does not make you vulnerable, writing this makes you all the more perfect to be known as ready and loving parents. Obviously having Stella in your life has brought more joy, love and sheer bliss for you both and that's why you are wanting to feel and share more of that with another child. I wish you all the best and will post your profile on my Facebook and twitter. Just remember whatever happens, the right baby will come at the right time, sometimes, it's all about timing and the perfect match!

    XO,
    Vel :-)

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    1. I agree, the right baby will get to us at the right time. Thank you so much, Vel.

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  5. Dear Jamie,
    We don't know each other but I ran across this post and had to comment. I know the vulnerability you have and are experiencing as I have three adopted kiddos myself. It is so difficult to explain all of the emotion that you feel when you are going through all of this and very few people really understand. I am just writing to let you know that I will be sending positive energy in your direction as you wait for your next baby. I know it is very cliche to say this but things do happen for a reason. After we adopted our first two, we had two disruptions before getting our third little one. I didn't understand why that happened to us but now that our daughter is here, I understand. She was the little soul meant for our family and even though it was difficult, I would do it all over again. I pray that you will find that next little one that is meant for your family very soon and that you stay strong throughout this process.
    Best Wishes,
    Amy Fry
    P.S. I saw this post when your sister shared it on her Facebook page. I met her a long time ago at a photography workshop.

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    1. Amy, thank you so much for your kind words and advice. I really appreciate it.

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  6. Wishing you luck as you build your perfect family

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  7. You are so cute! Thanks for sharing!
    Terr and I are infertile too yet no where near ready to adopt.
    My older brother and his wife are infertile too, and trying to adopt.
    My little sister, single, 18, very fertile, very pregnant (and keeping)

    I can't say I know your struggle first hand because we haven't gotten that far but my heart goes out to you and I wish you the best of luck. My brother received the same advice, to use social media!!
    Crossing fingers for you!

    Kat | www.poshbykat.com

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  8. I have shared on my facebook page! I wish you the best on your journey! Kari

    https://www.facebook.com/tsmemory

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  9. I'm not on Facebook and being in France, I don't think I can help. But I can send positive vibes and hope for the best for your family. I know how adoption can be a work of patience.

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    1. Positive vibes are very welcome! Thanks, Magali!

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  10. You have such a heart wrenching, and heart warming story. I've always said that it takes special people to adopt, and that it's one of the noblest things that couples can do. Wishing you the best of luck for adding a new little one to your family.

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    1. Thank you so much, Leslie. That really means a lot.

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  11. What a graceful and good-natured family you've got there. Building a family is a lot of tough work, though a rewarding one at that. Whether a kid is adopted or of your own is secondary to how he/she is raised, supported, and the morals and structures we teach them as they grow up, to keep the family running and whole. The only real issue of concern is the custody discussion, which is akin to getting all the materials right to build a masterwork. And I must say, your family looks like a masterwork. Keep it up, and stay faithful and hopeful.

    Adoption Network

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Thank you for your comments, it makes my day! If you have a question, I will answer it in the comments section as soon as I can. You can also email me at jamiejjoyal@gmail.com.