Wednesday, March 20, 2013

With or Without the Leprechauns

I was perusing Facebook yesterday when I noticed an article that was shared by at least five of my friends. Of course, my curiosity got the best of me, so I checked it out. The article is titled, Let's Bring the Holidays Down a Notch and discusses the fact that holidays have gotten out of control, and that expectations are being set that many parents cannot maintain. I read the article, and then I scrolled through about 200 comments all of which (except for about two), agreed with the author. So, with that being said, I'm writing this post knowing that many of you are going to disagree with me, but that's okay. We're all adults. We can disagree and still be besties, right? Good.

I absolutely agree that some of the activities brought home from school need to be cut out. As a former teacher, I sent home as few projects as possible, and I absolutely refused to send home anything that was busy work for the students (aka the parents). I also agree that the holidays have become crazy.  We don't just invite Santa and the Easter Bunny into our homes, but also elves, leprechauns, and tooth fairies--who, by the way, must have won the lottery since I was a kid. But guess what: You don't have to participate in anything you don't want to. Nobody is putting expectations on you except for yourself. We have GOT to stop comparing ourselves to other people! If I want Stella to wake up to leprechaun footprints, some clues, and some gold candy, why does that have anything to do with what traditions you have or don't have with your children? If I want to send her to school with homemade valentine bags, why does that make you think your valentines aren't good enough? Trust me when I say this: when I create traditions, send goodies to school, throw birthday parties, get dressed, buy a car, buy a home, or make any other decision, I don't base ANY of them off of what someone else thinks. I do things simply because I want to. And if you feel any type of pressure because of someone else's decisions, I hate to break it to you, but that's YOUR insecurity, not their expectations. 

There is always going to be someone prettier, smarter, more talented, etc. I would be lying if I said I never compared myself to others. But, the truth is, I know that when I do, it's my problem, not the prettier, smarter, more talented girls' problem. Do what you can and want to do. Don't be hard on yourself, and use these opportunities to explain to your children that they don't always get everything everyone else has. It's part of life. 

If you don't want to "give into holiday overkill," then good for you. Don't do it. I respect you for that. BUT, if I do want to, respect me. Doing or not doing any of these things does not determine what kind of parents we are. It just means we're different. It means that our traditions are different, or that we spend our time differently, and there's nothing wrong with being different. At the end of the day, we're all just doing our best to be good parents and do what's best for our families...with or without the leprechauns.
image from Something Charming

14 comments:

  1. well said, and a good reminder that when we are stressed, we should stop & reflect on our motivations. i know that i am guilty with sometimes trying to "keep up" ... thank you for sharing your thoughts!

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  2. I try to do what i want to do and not give in to others. it is hard when your kids at school hear from other kids. example i don't do elf on shelf or leprechaun stuff at home. i leave that up to teacher. but your kids do come home wonder why we dont do those things. bc its too much doesn't always make sense to kids. but i get what you are saying. don't fault people who want to do everything. its a good point.

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  3. I try to do what i want to do and not give in to others. it is hard when your kids at school hear from other kids. example i don't do elf on shelf or leprechaun stuff at home. i leave that up to teacher. but your kids do come home wonder why we dont do those things. bc its too much doesn't always make sense to kids. but i get what you are saying. don't fault people who want to do everything. its a good point.

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  4. I try to do what i want to do and not give in to others. it is hard when your kids at school hear from other kids. example i don't do elf on shelf or leprechaun stuff at home. i leave that up to teacher. but your kids do come home wonder why we dont do those things. bc its too much doesn't always make sense to kids. but i get what you are saying. don't fault people who want to do everything. its a good point.

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  5. I totally agree with you! :-) I guess it's easier said then done for some people, though, especially since it's so easy to second-guess ourselves/compare ourselves to others.

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  6. Awesomely said. We have to remember we're setting a bad example when we worry about what the families next door or from school do for every holiday. We're setting them up to be the same way.

    I am not a rich man, but my kids will get my best, even if that just means my attention. I hope they'll realize that whether it's a holiday we choose to emphasize, a pretend cooking show we put on in the kitchen, or just a day to spend together, there are a lot of ways to give to those you love.

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  7. I totally agree, I just do my best. We had green eggs, no leprechaun came to our house! But I hope my kids will still have fun memories of our traditions.

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  8. Comparison really is the thief of joy.

    It doesn't bother me for people to do the leprechaun trap thing - I agree that your traditions don't have to define mine. But what I really noticed from that post was that her kids were expecting it, and she did not even know about it. I think that is where it gets tricky. It stinks to disappoint your kids, especially when you did not know about the thing they were expecting to happen.

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  9. We didn't do Leprechauns this year. My kids were buzzing about it because of school, but my house is a wreck and I was too stressed to worry about making more messes. At first I felt bad, and the kids were disappointed. Then we all got over it and moved on. You've got good perspective here.

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  10. Beautifully said. I am a minimalist, even when it comes to holidays. To me, a great holiday is just being together and enjoying each other. All the fancy stuff is just work to me and something I have to clean up later (might have something to do with my chronic fatigue). But if you want to go all out, more power to you. We each need to figure out what works for us and be happy with that. Your quote is perfect.

    Happy Sharefest. I hope you have a lovely weekend.

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  11. I agree! Holidays are sooooo fun with kiddos! The only thing I thought of when reading the article was all of the crazy decorations we spend so much time making. Our kids really could care less if we make them the cutest banner for their birthday with the matching cupcake holder and the water bottle labels. I think as long as you are doing those things to spend time with your kiddos and to create memories, then have at it! Go all the way, right?

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  12. I was just talking to a coworker about this last week. I said, "I remember when St. Patrick's Day was simply about wearing green, and getting pinched if you didn't. Where did all this leprechaun traps and chocolate candy come from?"

    I don't mind people who really get into holidays, but I don't see myself becoming one of them.

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Thank you for your comments, it makes my day! If you have a question, I will answer it in the comments section as soon as I can. You can also email me at jamiejjoyal@gmail.com.